When you embrace something as your own, but it’s one sided, when you embrace a community as your own, without knowing what, where, how, but the community doesn’t embrace you the same way it hurts, it hurts real bad. When you give your heart, soul, and entire being to a project and make it a part of you, day in and day out without any expectations, without any desire to receive something in return, and you do it even though you know you’re pushing yourself to the edge, you’re giving more than you can endure, but you still do it because you believe in this vision, you believe this is what you’re meant to do in your life, to bring people together and form a community Or at least bring people together, if not a community. You were meant to to make new connections, to work on different projects, to do something meaningful and worthwhile in your life which has a larger impact, to have fun along the way and learn from each other too. But slowly you realize people aren’t as receptive, there is something missing. And you go into hiding for a while so much so that you could end your life but then you come back, this time stronger, more determined than before to make it work and you try, but something has drastically changed in a year, people aren’t as excited, there is something missing, the pulse of the vision is lost but you don’t lose hope, you still continue to add to the flavor of the calls, you continue to share, you continue to reflect with nothing coming from the other side. It’s quite dead. You soon realise it’s a one sided affair and a one sided affair doesn’t last in a community or even a relationship, no matter what the relationship and so today as I take a step back from my community, I am hurt but I am also excited because I know there is something else in store for me, I knew it from the first minute of reading the vision, and the same conviction stands true today. The only difference is that I am diving into the unknown. And something beautiful and magical will come out of this unknown reality.
Until next time,
Miss Light
Lightrosh 